Over the years, many of us would have, or if not, will at some stage, reach the conclusion that, at the core of all human behavior, our needs are very identical or similar.
Essentially, every human being in the world wants and desires only that which feels good. Each of us wants to live a happy, carefree, easy existence, to make money, and to be well respected. Which is extremely fair and understandable.
However, in real life, positive experiences are easy to handle. It is the negative experiences, the difficult twists and turns, the roadblocks, and the falls that we all struggle with.
Therefore, come to think of it, what we get out of life is not really determined by the good feelings we desire, but by what bad experiences and feelings we are willing and able to handle while we try to get ourselves to those good feelings. Because it is the difficult journeys and the tough experiences that turn out to be our best teachers.
There is an old, often repeated story that is like a metaphor. The story is about two young fish, swimming along in the ocean when they come across an older fish. The old fish asks them “How do you find the water today?”
The two young fish ignore the question, keep swimming, go a little
ahead, and then one looks at the other and says, “What the hell is the old fish talking about? What exactly is water?” The lesson to be drawn from this is that the most important realities in life is staring us in our faces, and yet they happen to be the ones that are hardest for us to see.
Our so-called “water” is also embedded into the daily grind of life. The waking up. The early morning chores. The commute to work. The endless meetings. The unbalanced and unhealthy diets. The phone calls. Calling on friends. Networking. Paying bills on time.
Much of our life seems dull, humdrum, repetitive and unimportant. Yet
if we look a little closer, we can uncover a simple yet powerful truth.
Life is a constant ocean of choices. Let us look at a few meaningful examples. Many these days dream of or want to start their own business and become financially independent entrepreneurs.
But to be successful, we have to make certain behavioral choices where we are willing to go through long years of managing the risk, the uncertainty, the repeated failures, and work insane hours. That too on something where we may have no clue about
the probability of success. For some, this behavioral choice, over time,
becomes a great habit.
Exercising the right choice of behavior, and slowly converting it into a habit reminds us that in order to want the benefits of something good, we also need to want to be able to go through the costs. Let’s take another example. Most of us want a healthy life. But, in order to even attempt to get one, we need yet again to make certain behavioral choices where we are willing to go through the disciplined
routine of exercise walks, gyms, eating the right diet, and rest. In short, first, make a behavioral choice and work it into a habit. Then we come to the interesting social aspect of exhibiting good behavior towards each other and humanity. Why is it that in this social aspect of life, we feel that it is not necessary to make a good behavioral choice and then work it into a habit?
Why is it that with those who matter in society, the affluent and the known, we exhibit good behavior while most of the time showing our worst side to close family, friends, and the less important? If cheating on behavioral aspects cannot get us good health if cheating
on hard work and struggles cannot create long-term success, why cheat or fall short in the area of exhibiting good behavior in dealing with people around us?
We cannot want the reward and not the struggle. We cannot want the result and not the process. How then can we wish to build a better society if we repeatedly fall short of exhibiting good behavior socially except where it gives us better transactional value? Who we are is defined by the values we are willing to struggle for. People who enjoy the struggles of a gym are the ones who get in good shape.
People who enjoy long work weeks and the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who move up it. By the same logic, people who wish to leave the legacy of not only material wealth but a better, more humane society for our future generations, need to convert their social behavior by choice into a great habit. Surely, as individuals, we do not wish to look like the new age start-ups, many of whom have great valuations but fall short in their balance sheets. The same holds true for the balance sheet of our lives.
Something to ponder over. Do remember, the future generations are looking up to us.
The authored article is written by Niranjan Gidwani and shared with Prittle Prattle News exclusively.
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