Resisting Truth Becomes the Biggest Battle One Fights – Niranjan Gidwani

Niranjan Gidwani- Consultant Director at Texub, Member in UAE Superbrands Councils, and Charter Member at Tie Dubai

When life is lived at a high level of honesty, life is healing. In almost all situations, resisting the truth becomes the battle we all fight. The best way to explain this is through the workings of the modern-day washing machine. Let’s say the rinse, wash, and spin cycle is over. The clothes in the device are in a semi-dry yet damp condition. They need to be taken out for drying. Strangely, even with the washed yet damp clothes, the longer they are kept in the washing machine, the fouler the odor. The stench may become unbearable if they are kept that way for a few days.

One can safely guess that the same thumb rule applies to thoughts and emotions. The more and more thoughts, particularly misunderstandings, are built up but not expressed, either due to anger issues, ego issues between two parties, or perceived level and status differences, the more significant the gaps in the relationships will be. All such thoughts are formed but not clarified. All misunderstood emotions and feelings are like the windscreen of a car that has not been cleaned regularly. Ironically, the dirt, the dust, the soot, and the scratches are not on the objects we view but in the medium through which the objects are being considered. The same would apply to a pair of spectacles that are being used for a long without being cleaned.

The secret to good emotional well-being would lie in finding ways to resolve differences to the extent possible. In hindsight, many like me now realize that In the first half of our lives, till the age of 25-30, like any other growing kids and cocky youngsters, we too were making mistakes, mostly unintentionally, some intentionally, and then either unwilling or unable to resolve issues and differences. In the latter half of our lives, for some like me, the realization dawned on those old feelings repeatedly surface to get resolved in some form. Emotional stress is essentially a storage disease. Very similar to the tons of junk data we store on our various devices without consciously creating adequate time and effort to do a periodic cleanup.

The same applies to sorting out issues in relationships. The key question that always arises is that, between two individuals or organizations or countries, what if one side wants to clarify and sort out issues to reset the relationship genuinely. In contrast, the other side, due to reasons of either deep hurt, superiority, status, or just temperament, does not feel the same way. Yes, in some cases, the damage caused may be irreparable. Yet, maturity could allow for a decent level of relationship to survive. In today’s modern-day, high technology world, where our generation is on the verge of transferring the baton to the generation which has grown up with technology and devices if there is one quality that we need to impart, one area we need to seriously coach and mentor, it is to allow for others to express their thoughts and feelings and also be allowed to speak.

Seek first to understand before being understood. While, for our generation, it was pretty okay to have many things left unsaid and buried under the carpet, purely due to a certain hierarchy of respect, we are dealing with a future generation who are way too open, way too accommodating, way too energetic, and wish to have a healthy debate and seek answers and resolutions to issues. So, while many like me profess to have started teaching this particular quality only over the past several decades, it has helped to a considerable extent in understanding that differences can and should be only at the level of issues, topics of concern, or importance.

Differences should never permeate to damage or disturb relationships. Let us not wait for ideal conditions. They may never arise. Be simple. Create an environment to express and allow for freedom of expression from the other party. In the final summary, even if we cannot be the solution, let us at least be the solace for many. Even if we cannot solve the problem, let us not cause it. Even if we cannot help sometimes, let us not intentionally harm.

The crux question – what exactly is a high level of honesty?

On a scale of 100, if one can always be in the band of 75-90 in terms of honesty, that would rate as high. The past few years have taught us that material parameters of success would look even more exciting if basic ground rules of co-existence were practiced in small and meaningful ways. It is not one at the cost them either. Both can and must beautifully co-exist.
This authored article by Mr. Niranjan Gidwani was shared with Prittle Prattle News as a Press Release.
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